A new era of insecurity
We have entered a new era of insecurity. I’m referring, of course, to the menace posed by brick throwing monkeys:
“New Delhi, October 8 A 30-year-old woman who had come to AIIMS to see her nephew a dengue patient in the hospital, died after a monkey threw a brick at her inside the hospital complex”
The North Korean nuclear test is unsettling as well, but imagine a future (or don’t imagine, if you’re the nervous type) where brick throwing monkeys have managed to spread out from India to infest hospital complexes throughout the globe.
Not all today’s news is bad, as there have been no new reports of the Sandsend blob bothering people.
“New Delhi, October 8 A 30-year-old woman who had come to AIIMS to see her nephew a dengue patient in the hospital, died after a monkey threw a brick at her inside the hospital complex”
The North Korean nuclear test is unsettling as well, but imagine a future (or don’t imagine, if you’re the nervous type) where brick throwing monkeys have managed to spread out from India to infest hospital complexes throughout the globe.
Not all today’s news is bad, as there have been no new reports of the Sandsend blob bothering people.
Do these brick-throwing monkeys wear seersucker suits? There is nothing funnier than a monkey in seersucker. If so, I whole heartedly welcome the news of mankind's imminent destruction at the hands of these hilarious simian assassins.
ReplyDeleteMonkey's in seersucker is funny, but I've heard no reports these monkeys are clothed. Maybe if they were dressed in suits they would be behaving themselves instead of throwing bricks. A properly dressed primate is a civilized primate, as the saying goes.
ReplyDeleteClothed or not, brick-throwing monkeys would be a most entertaining way of solving our oldie problem.
ReplyDeleteHa! It's not just monkey's with bricks, remember (how come I didn't until now?) the club weilding chimp?
ReplyDeleteSignalman Jack must be the missing link here. His progeny are upset they've been displaced of their jobs in the globalized workforce. Every ape I've known has been of the respectable sort, just the type to throw bricks rather than break a picket line or toil at sweatshop wages. Hopefully, PETA, or even better Brigitte Bardot, will take up their cause.
ReplyDelete