Departure: Vaduz - flying at night

Flying late at night clears the clouded mind. While the rest of the mostly empty plane is sleeping, I reflect upon terrible acts I have committed during the course of my life. For a time when I was younger, I would go out on the town with the sole purpose of luring young women back to my lodgings in order to seduce them. At some point before or after engaging in ecstatic wrestlings I would charm or coerce them into shaving their pubises. (At this point I’m sure many of my younger readers are asking, confusedly, “Why weren’t their pubises shaved already?” being unaware that particular grooming habit has only recently become ubiquitous (my personal investigations lead me to believe that it only becomes common starting among women born after 1978)). I collected and saved the shaved hairs over a period of months, and after amassing a substantial amount had it woven into a wig which I then donated to a charitable organization that provides free toupees to low-income bald men.

I regret this immensely (theologians I have consulted, while agreeing that what was done was morally abominable, have had a hard time precisely categorizing the transgression) and over the years have attempted to atone in various ways. After considerable self examination, I continue to be unable to explain why I did it, but I was drinking excessively at the time.


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