Scientists have now ‘discovered’ a correlation between the decline in smoking and the increase in obesity. What took them so long? They were probably too busy keeping jellyfish up all night. This correlation occurred to me in a flash of drunken insight years ago, and I have publicized it on numerous occasions since then, usually when a fatty at a bar complains of my second hand smoke. I have no hope the dishonest poseurs that comprise the modern Science Establishment will give me the credit I am due, but what a comical embarrassment for the professional scientists to be nearly half a decade behind a creative amateur.